Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
