I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Randomize
