I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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