Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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