he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
