I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
