She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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