I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
