My hair reeks of homosexuality.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
