she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
