another moral hangover. fuck.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
