Don't make out with my wife yet
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
