Swine flu. Run for my life!
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
