the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
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