We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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