john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
