You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
