don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
