he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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