The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize
