I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
