bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
