I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
