That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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