Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
this will be a night to untag.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
