STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
