Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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