I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
