No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Randomize
