you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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