I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
