Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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