You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
