Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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