You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
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