i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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