I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
