I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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