I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
