batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
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