oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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