I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
How's work?
Spinning.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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