Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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