You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
