I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
