well you can't waste a boner
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
