You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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