remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
