I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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