Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
