Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Less talking, more tequila
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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