I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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