I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
