2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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