the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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