There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize