do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
