Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
