it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize